Johannesburg Is Under Attack by Rats — Maybe It’s Time We Eat Them

When Jozi Is Overrun by Rats… Maybe It’s Time to Braai Them

When Jozi Is Overrun by Rats… Maybe It’s Time to Braai Them

By Noko Maleka | Insight Jozi News | 2025

Johannesburg — The City of Gold is under siege—not by potholes or load‑shedding, but by rats. According to the South African Pest Control Association, the rodent population here has exploded by 450% in recent years. [1][2] Hillbrow to Braamfontein: the rats are winning, and the city’s response? Silence.

No sanitation blitz. No fumigation plan. Not even a half-hearted public statement.

So if the city won’t act—maybe we cook.

Yes, you heard right. It’s 2025, and Johannesburg might just eat its way out of the rat crisis.

Don’t dismiss it as madness. In parts of Vietnam, India, Malawi—even Thailand—rat is already a delicacy.

🍽️ The Jozi Rat‑Tasting Menu

  • Alex Fried Rat Bites – Deep-fried, peri‑peri, lemon & garlic, served with pap & chakalaka.
  • Hillbrow Rat Curry – Spicy tomato-based rat chunks simmered like bunny chow.
  • Yeoville Rat Kebabs – Moroccan-spiced skewers that could be the next Maboneng hit.
  • Soweto Rat Stew – Slow-cooked with veggies, dumplings or samp.
  • Braamfontein Rat‑&‑Cheese Sliders – Cheese-rat meatballs in mini buns with fries and irony.

🐀 Satire & Call to Action

This is satire—but the rat crisis is painfully real...

[1] SAPCA rodent report; [2] Dr. Mpho Shongwe interview, Insight Jozi News.


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